MLS: Grading the Eastern Conference mascots

MLS has its fair share of mascots. Some are better than others. So, we graded all of them, starting with the Eastern Conference.

At some Major League Soccer matches, fans are greeted by loud roars and the occasional hi-five from a mascot friend. Mascots are a common occurrence in American sports. Most teams across the country have them and there is usually a reason for the name and type of mascot.

However, not every team in MLS has a mascot. In fact, there are only eight teams in the Eastern Conference that have a mascot walking around their stadiums on game days. But which is the best? Find out below in this hugely insightful and informative deep-dive.

So, here are the grades for each mascot in the Eastern Conference.

Chicago Fire – Sparky the Dalmatian: A-

Sparky has been with the Chicago Fire from its first days in 1998. For a club that has recently endured a lot of criticism for the new crest, they got the mascot right.

Naming the club ‘Fire’ is already an incredible look at Chicago’s history and the Great Chicago Fire of 1871. And what dogs do firemen use? Dalmatians. It’s hard to go wrong with a dog for a mascot, but it’s even harder to make yourself stand out. The Fire did just that with a perfect fit for their club.

Columbus Crew – S.C. and Crew Cat: B-

Crew Cat had been around in Columbus for nearly 20 years before S.C. took over mascot duties in 2015. Crew Cat then came out of retirement and back to the fans in 2019 to give Columbus two mascots.

Columbus went a different route than a lot of clubs to make their mascot a cat instead of the traditional dog. For that, they deserve credit. But it doesn’t have the historic city connection that the Fire has.

D.C. United – Talon the Eagle: A-

The capital of the United States, it only makes sense that they use an eagle. Even the city’s NWSL team, the Washington Spirit, uses an eagle.

Being in Washington D.C. gives them a chance to use an American symbol for their mascot, and they took advantage. The city’s baseball team is the Nationals, and the hockey team is the Capitals. It’s nothing special, but a solid nod to the city’s history and importance.

F.C. Cincinnati – Gary the Lion: B+

A lion marks the club’s crest so its only right to make the mascot a lion as well. What makes Gary different is his orange skin, making it impossible to mistake him for any other club besides FC Cincinnati.

The best part about Gary is the name. Fans of FCC searched through the club’s logo and found the word ‘Gary’ spelled out across the lion. Cincinnati listened to their supporters and named their new mascot Gary. It’s not a clever name, but something unique to FCC that no one else has.

Montreal Impact – Tac-Tik the Dog: C+

The Impact went the default route of picking a dog for their mascot. Nothing wrong with picking a dog, but again, it’s hard to make yourself stand out when a lot of mascots are also dogs.

There are two Tac-Tiks in Montreal, the original and Tac-Tik Jr. Two mascots are relatively common, just ask Columbus. This isn’t a terrible duo for Montreal, but there’s special or different about the Impact’s mascot combo.

New England Revolution – Slyde the Fox: B-

There aren’t too many fox mascots in the country, so Slyde is unique to the U.S. and Boston, which helps in a city dominated by successful sports teams. Foxes are prevalent across Massachusetts, so the front office understandably made it their mascot.

It’s hard to capture the idea of the American Revolution into a mascot without looking exactly like the city’s NFL team, the New England Patriots. The Revs did the best they could with what they have, and it turned out pretty well.

Orlando City – Kingston the Lion: C-

Similar to Cincinnati, Orlando didn’t really have a choice when selecting a mascot because a lion is the major symbol on the team’s crest. The amount of purple Kingston wears also makes it unmistakable for any other team in the league.

However, Kingston looks more fierce and terrifying than happy and comforting. The name ‘Kingston’ is an interesting choice. I don’t see any connection between the name and Orlando. Sean Kingston is from Miami? So, a lion is always a good choice, but it could have been better.

Philadelphia Union – Phang: A+

Phang might be the best mascot in all of MLS. The Philadelphia Union take advantage of their rich American history in their logo with the famous ‘Don’t Tread on Me’ snake from the American Revolution.

It’s hard to imagine a snake as a mascot, which may be why Phang didn’t come until 2018, but as hard as it may be, the Union pulled it off and it’s not as terrifying as a snake mascot sounds. A snake is a very different mascot, but Philadelphia makes it work as good as anyone.