MLS Week 34 Power Rankings – Obligatory obituaries

SAN JOSE, CA - AUGUST 29: San Jose Earthquakes' Chris Wondolowski (8), right, celebrates his goal with San Jose Earthquakes' Magnus Eriksson (7) against FC Dallas in the second half at Avaya Stadium in San Jose, Calif., on Wednesday, August 29, 2018. (Nhat V. Meyer/Digital First Media/The Mercury News via Getty Images)
SAN JOSE, CA - AUGUST 29: San Jose Earthquakes' Chris Wondolowski (8), right, celebrates his goal with San Jose Earthquakes' Magnus Eriksson (7) against FC Dallas in the second half at Avaya Stadium in San Jose, Calif., on Wednesday, August 29, 2018. (Nhat V. Meyer/Digital First Media/The Mercury News via Getty Images)
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SAN JOSE, CA – AUGUST 29: San Jose Earthquakes’ Chris Wondolowski (8), right, celebrates his goal with San Jose Earthquakes’ Magnus Eriksson (7) against FC Dallas in the second half at Avaya Stadium in San Jose, Calif., on Wednesday, August 29, 2018. (Nhat V. Meyer/Digital First Media/The Mercury News via Getty Images)
SAN JOSE, CA – AUGUST 29: San Jose Earthquakes’ Chris Wondolowski (8), right, celebrates his goal with San Jose Earthquakes’ Magnus Eriksson (7) against FC Dallas in the second half at Avaya Stadium in San Jose, Calif., on Wednesday, August 29, 2018. (Nhat V. Meyer/Digital First Media/The Mercury News via Getty Images)

It’s Week 34 of the MLS Regular Season. The end is nigh and plenty of teams are already looking forward to next season. Here are the Power Rankings.

It’s Decision Day Week in MLS and the Week 34 Power Rankings have been filled mostly with obituaries. Some teams have already started throwing dirt on the casket of the season, while some teams, Real Salt Lake, are just merely half-cadavers on Halloween Weekend.

Even FC Dallas is looking more zombified, regular-season pretender than overzealous playoff contender. NYCFC has a chance, much like ladies running upstairs have a chance of outmanoeuvring Micheal Myers. The Nordecke and Terminus Legion are looking lethargic while the Blue Hell is the most positive group in MLS.

Here are the Week 34 MLS Power Rankings.

ORLANDO, FL – JUNE 23: Orlando City forward Dom Dwyer (14)keeps the ball from going out During the MLS soccer match between the Orlando City SC and Montreal Impact on June 23rd, 2018 at Orlando City Stadium in Orlando, FL. (Photo by Andrew Bershaw/Icon Sportswire via Getty Images)
ORLANDO, FL – JUNE 23: Orlando City forward Dom Dwyer (14)keeps the ball from going out During the MLS soccer match between the Orlando City SC and Montreal Impact on June 23rd, 2018 at Orlando City Stadium in Orlando, FL. (Photo by Andrew Bershaw/Icon Sportswire via Getty Images)

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