DC United: Taylor Twellman unloaded the shade on Wayne Rooney idea

In this week’s national ESPN broadcast, announcer Taylor Twellman voiced several of his concerns with DC United signing Wayne Rooney. Even going so far as to evoke the racoons of old RFK Stadium, Twellman believes DC United’s signing of Rooney is a farce that will only serve to show that the DC United front office is behind the times unless they fully commit to the investment.

Taylor Twellman threw plenty of shade on the DC United regime regarding the new rumored pursuit of Wayne Rooney, holding nothing back in his remarks during the Portland vs Seattle broadcast on ESPN. Twellman pointed out how the infrastructure is about to experience a stress test that it more than likely will fail.

If it is true that multiple people in the DC United offices have to wear several hats during the week, then switch to another for game day operations, then MLS headquarters will need to send reinforcements immediately.

This was Twellman’s most direct call to action. However, he also pointed out that DC United is barely noticeable in the DC metro area, with little to inspire hope on the field. The local sports radio stations all but ignore the team, which has been even easier with no real home games yet this season. With this signing, DC United is about to get more attention than it has since the MLS Cups years or Freddy Adu.

Twellman seems skeptical that DC United will build off of this attention. Fans seem apathetic at best that they team will be good enough to make a playoff push. Twellman goes full ALL CAPS and REPEAT 3 TIMES on his point that DC United has spent exactly zero dollars.

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While he might be off a Dewayne DeRosario level DP or two, DC United is closer to zero than most every team. LAFC and NYCFC spent more before they kicked a ball than DC United has in 20 years.

Rooney would be arguably the second biggest name in MLS, behind only Zlatan. Rooney is reportedly going to be more handsomely rewarded for his efforts, but is being asked to fill a new stadium. Zlatan is only being asked to bring some headlines to the old team in Carson.

Ibra the Great is growing grumpier with every loss. Rooney may find himself also being asked to drag a bottom third team into the last playoff spot. Rooney will likely suffer his longest spell before reaching ten points with a team as well. Ben Olsen inspires little confidence.

As Twellman points out, with the heat, humidity, and travel, Rooney’s fitness will be tested. With DC United’s support staff already threadbare, his patience will be tested as well. If DC United thinks this is the only move needed to compete or placate the fans, the fans will have very little patience with the team. This is a team that still charges money at it’s academy. More action is needed for any building of good will and faith.

DC United need to sign a few more players to have a chance of hosting a playoff game at Audi Field this season. Rooney cannot do it by himself, and his reputation is more secure than those running DC United at the moment. Rooney can always go back to England to retire. DC United may not get another chance to win over the market. Waiting a few decades until the next stadium launch is not a feasible plan B.

If Rooney is in America for a paid tour and nothing more, the level of play from DC United will hardly suffer. DC United needs to decide if they are building a foundation or placing a band aid. If DC United want to sell out the opener, and maybe a few hundred more season ticket packages to no show corporations, they have probably accomplished those goals. If DC United wants to be a club that joins modern MLS with it’s new stadium, Rooney must be the first investment of many.

Rooney scored ten in the EPL last season and is younger than many starting strikers in MLS. Bradley Wright Phillips, Clint Dempsey, Zlatan, and David Villa have done fine the last few years at more advanced ages.

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The new ownership buying into DC likely bought in with a move like this in mind. Like the Audi R8 Spyder Quattro, if one buys it, they should be prepared to pay for maintenance and upkeep cost. DC United made the splash move, will they spend the cash to keep the positive headlines running?

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