MLS Week 1: Overreactions from around the league

HOUSTON, TX - MARCH 03: Houston Dynamo starting players pose for team photo during the opening MLS match between the Atlanta United FC and Houston Dynamo on March 3, 2018 at BBVA Compass Stadium in Houston, Texas. (Photo by Leslie Plaza Johnson/Icon Sportswire via Getty Images)
HOUSTON, TX - MARCH 03: Houston Dynamo starting players pose for team photo during the opening MLS match between the Atlanta United FC and Houston Dynamo on March 3, 2018 at BBVA Compass Stadium in Houston, Texas. (Photo by Leslie Plaza Johnson/Icon Sportswire via Getty Images) /

MLS week one is in the books and here are some over-inflated/over-deflated stories around the league. Of course, all these bold predictions will come true.

MLS week one provided excitement galore, and every fan base is lapping up the results of their team. From… The sky is falling…


We’re a lock to win MLS Cup this season!

Related Story: MLS: Top 5 Goals From Matchweek 1

Here are some overreactions from around MLS. Enjoy!

Atlanta United:  Oh, no…the Five Stripes have entered into some type of time warp and have been transported back to an expansion season.  Tough times ahead in the ATL.  But seriously, Carlos Carmona is really missing from that midfield.

Related Story: 5 Things Learned From Houston's Battering Of Atlanta

Minnesota United:  Is it too late to be added to the USL schedule this season?  You guys have the USL talent and focus right now, see if Cincy or Sacramento will fill your MLS spot and you guys play a little longer in the USL to see if this soccer thing is going to work for you guys.

LAFC:  Bob Bradley is MLS coach of the year and he’ll be hoisting another expansion-season MLS cup in 2018 just like he did in Chicago 20 years ago.  In related news, Bob Bradley has been tabbed as the first head coach for expansion Nashville FC after he tanks after year one at LAFC.  In other related news, Bob Bradley is on David Beckham’s short list of MLS managers to lead Miami in their expansion season after he tanks in Nashville after season one.

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Toronto FC:  The Reds are done.  The Crew proved that this past weekend.  They won’t even win the Canadian Championship this season.  Go ahead and start the trades and the rebuilding process.

Houston Dynamo:  MLS Cup champs in 2018.  Game over for the rest of MLS after Forever Orange flexed their muscle over Atlanta this past weekend.  Game over MLS.

Sporting KC:  SKC are broken.  They need a new coach with new ideas on how to recruit, sign, develop, and coach top-class players.  This Vermes guys just can’t seem to get things right….forget all those trophies.

DC United:  The Eagles are back to their former glory days.  MLS Cups are just around the corner.  But seriously, Asad and Mattocks do give them the speed and work rate missing for some seasons now…watch out for those elbows and cards.

New York City FC: NYCFC are the most dynamic attacking team in the league.  There is no way David Villa could miss scoring a goal attacking 3 v 0 against Sporting KC…no way.

Related Story: 5 Key Players For New York City FC In 2018

Seattle Sounders:  The Sounders are just out-of-touch and putting too much focus on secondary competitions to MLS regular season contests.  Chivas will just be a light jog in the park in CONCACF Champions League play.

Related Story: 5 Things Learned In LAFC's Win Over Seattle

FC Dallas:  It’s all going to work out fine in Dallas…just not any time soon.

Orlando City:  We’re making the playoffs this season!  Wrong, there will still be the Orlando-factor surface this season and take a very talented group of players and create a very average season of soccer in purple.

Philadelphia Union: Can we just play the after-thought Revs every other weekend?  They make us look like a contender, sort of…

San Jose Earthquakes:  Can I go ahead and get my tickets for the Landon Donavan experience when Club Leon visits later this year?   You think Landon would fancy a return to the Quakes for one final MLS run?

Colorado Rapids:  Is the Super Draft any time soon?  How much longer does this season last…it has already been a long season for Tim Howard.

More from MLS Multiplex

Chicago Fire:  We lost our schedule invitation…when does the MLS regular season begin?  Thanks.

Vancouver Whitecaps:  That Davies kid is way overrated and the ‘Caps should go ahead and dump him now.

Montreal Impact: Time is standing still for the Impact this season.  No need to worry and push for a championship this season.  With all our key players over age 30…we’re going to be fine as they avoid injury and find the fountain of youth in Montreal.  Just fine.

Columbus Crew:  Zardes will win the golden boot in Columbus this season plus he’ll really like scoring goals in Austin in futures seasons.

Portland Timbers.  Ridgewell is MLS Defender of the Year…

LA Galaxy:  Zlatan is the missing piece of the LA championship puzzle.  Signing him over some up-and-coming player makes way more sense in MLS version 3.0 since all those other young players haven’t worked out so well.

New York Red Bulls:  In keeping with RBNY traditions, Luis Robles has been the subject of numerous trade rumors shortly after he was named team captain for the 2018 season.  We see how that RBNY captain’s armband has been a ticket out of town for Dax and Sacha the past two seasons.

New England Revolution: Team after-thought of the Kraft empire is safe and sound in New England.  How about the Crew stay in Columbus and the Revs make the move to Austin?

Real Salt Lake:  You guys are off the hook for now.  Beckerman just is more aerodynamic with that haircut.

Next: 5 Biggest Winners of MLS Week 1

Like I said at the beginning… all of this will come true, not likely.