Toronto FC vs. Chivas USA: 10 Bold Predictions

Jul 17, 2013; Carson, CA, USA; Chivas USA goalkeeper Dan Kennedy (1) against Toronto FC at the StubHub Center. Chivas USA defeated Toronto FC 1-0. Mandatory Credit; Kirby Lee-USA TODAY Sports

The dead team walking, the pariah of Major League Soccer, that club doomed to be burned at the stake a la Joan of Arc, known to all in this ugly and beautiful world as Wilmer Cabrera’s Chivas USA, slinks and slides and stumbles and bumbles into Toronto, Ont. and BMO Field to take on Greg Vanney’s Toronto FC like a bunch of hopeless alcoholic drunk, devoid of inhibition, awash in a confounding stupor, and due to have their misery ended by being run over by a runaway freight train from the Great Below.

All right, that’s being a bit too dramatic but you get this point.

Chivas USA are doomed to finish 2014 as the league’s worst team before hiding into obscurity, its cocoon of rebranding and relauching in the close season. As for Toronto FC, what seemed to be a season full of promise and hope has turned into the same old story full of heartbreak and defeat, the outlook for a playoffs berth looking similarly grim. The silver lining for TFC: it’s not as grim as Chivas USA, so there is time to turn it around but for the Reds, it must start on Sunday, Sept. 21.

Kickoff is scheduled for 12 p.m. PT/3 p.m. ET and will be televised by UniMas. Here are 10 Bold Predictions for Sunday’s match between Toronto FC and Chivas USA.

1. No goals for Chivas USA

Let’s make this clear: there will be no goals for Chivas USA in this contest. Erick “Cubo” Torres is still suspended and his suspension will end after this game is finished. He’s the only person on the team that can score on a consistent basis. So let’s get this out of the way: there will be no goals for the Goats against the Reds.

2. At least 45 fouls and four cards

Chivas USA are going to frustrate Toronto by playing rough and tough and physical. It’s not like the Goats are going to be in contention to make the postseason, so the logic would be just to make it hard for Toronto to get the fitness and health of its players in a good position. There will be at least 45 fouls whistled and four cards issued.

3. A Chivas USA player will be sent off

It’s not often the MLS Multiplex predicts red cards issued but given that Chivas USA will end it history going down swinging, the Goats are going to finish the game shorthanded. A Chivas USA player will be sent off on Sunday against Toronto.

4. At least five saves for Dan Kennedy

Chivas USA goalkeeper Dan Kennedy will be the only bright spot for the Goats in this contest. Kennedy is boldly predicted to make at least five saves in this contest but that will be the only redeeming stat for Chivas here, it’s going to be a rout.

5. Gilberto will score for Toronto

This season, Gilberto has six goals for Toronto FC. It took him a while, but Gilberto turning himself into “Golberto.” Watch for Gilberto to score in the first half and make it seven on the season.

6. Dominic Oduro with a goal and an assist